from now no more tagalog jokes for me , shall I make this a RULE for everyone for this forum,

daming umangal, "practice makes perfect"
Sample English Jokes !!!!
Where Did Humans Come From?
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve, and they had children, and so all of mankind was made."
A couple of days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused little girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said we came from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it's actually quite simple. I told you about my side of the family, and daddy told you about his!"
They Died Smiling
Four dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
The coroner tells the Inspector: "The first body is a 72 Year Old
Frenchman. He died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."
"The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age. He won a
thousand dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whisky. Died of
alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "And what of the last 2 bodies?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Ole and Sven are Norwegians from North Dakota, both 30 years old. They were struck by lightning."
"Why are they smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"They thought they were having their picture taken."
A Marriage Secret
With couples celebrating their wedding anniversaries at the churches marriage marathon, the minister asked Brother Ralph, celebrating his 50th, to take a few minutes to share some insights as to how he managed to live with the same woman all those years.
The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent some money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."
The minister inquired," Trips to where?"
"Well, for our 20th wedding anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China ."
The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands Ralph, please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary? "
Brother Ralph: "Well, I'm going back there to get her."