Message from Jongsuk
Source: With Photobook
Our times together.
I do quite a bit of thinking about time… Hm… Even though I want deny it, I am a person with rather low self esteem. As time passes, I go through the cycle of feelings towards myself – from desire to disappointment to despair to having the desire again. What a dramatic and painful way of living… ㅎㅎ
However, what makes me truly happy is this: People who have been watching over me all along and supporting me… yet they tell me that they actually receive comfort from me. No matter what, they tell me that it’s okay, they tell me to continue forward. For these people who are on my side, I can again prepare for my next step filled with hope.
Recently, I’ve been watching Kim Young Man ahjussi (T/N: a popular children show host that taught Korean children in the 80s how to fold origami) on ‘My Little Television’. It has become popular because it helps the audience rediscover the joys of childhood; I also felt a pang of sadness because I remembered how it was to be a child… Perhaps it’s because of the burdens we currently face every day that we are nostalgic for that period in our life…?
There’s this film ‘
Maundy Thursday’ by two actors that I like very much (T/N: Kang Dong Won and Lee Na Young, also ‘Our Happy Times’, 2005) with this line in it. “When that speck that is small as dust in your eyes falls into my wound, it is more painful than the entire universe.” The truth of the matter is that we feel for own own troubles more than anyone else’s… ㅎㅎ
When I think about it, there had been things I was worried or sad about when I was young; now they all seem incredibly laughable. When kids younger than me tell me their troubles, all I can say is, “You’re too young to understand, you’ll understand when you get older”… As time passes, I’ll become old as well, perhaps then I’ll look back at this time period and even become nostalgic for it… Then I begin to worry, is it true that we just become more and more burdened as we live on?
In the future, I’ll still worry about these things, I’ll still be in frustration, I’ll still be lonely… at those times, I hope we can also rely on each other and comfort each other.
Hm… now that I reread all that I’ve written, I think because it’s 2am now, people become easily sentimental… ㅋㅋ It seems to fit GOD’s song ‘
One Candle’; please forgive this disorganized and emotional passage ㅠㅠ
I’ve been mostly staying at home…
I’m doing well and recharging my batteries. We’ll meet soon.
I miss you.
Cr:
hitoritabi