Compilation of quotes from bob ong's books.

Love Qoutes

Ang tenga kapag pinagdikit korteng puso...
Extension ng puso ang tenga, kaya kapag marunog kang makinig, marunong kang magmahal,

Pag di ka mahal ng taong mahal mo, wag kang magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka. Kaya quits lng.

Kung hindi mo mahal and isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..

Ang babae, nirerespeto, inaalagaan!Hindi yan PSP na bubunutin mo lang sa bulsa pag gusto mo ng paglaruan.Hindi yan IPOD na papakinggan mo lang kapag wala kang libangan.At hindi yan RED HORSE na pwede mong laklakin hanggang madaling-araw.Ang babae, marami mang arte sa katawan, hindi yan gadget para kolektahin at paglaruan.

Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sayo kahit pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin yung araw na sakit nalang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.

Kapag pinag-aagawan ka malang maganda o gwapo ka. Sumama ka sa mabuti, hindi sa mabait. Sa marunong hindi sa matalino. Sa mahal ka, hindi sa gusto ka.

Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin
ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo.
Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang
hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan
mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso,
utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo,
kundi IKAW mismo!




Ang pag ibig Parang elevator lang yan, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo
kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.

Kung maghihintay ka nang ng lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay
mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din

Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawakan ng
iba. "

Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.

Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na
araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.

makakapili ka ng lugar na uupuan mo, pero hindi mo mapipili ang ang taong uupo satabi mo...
ganyan ang senaryo sa bus.. Ganyan din ang pag-ibig .. Lalong di mo kontrolado kung kailan sya bababa

paano mo makikita yung para sayo kung ayaw mong tantanan yang pinipilit mong maging iyo

hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka.

Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak
para alagaan ang sarili mo

Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag
natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila


kung dalawa mahal mo piliin mo ung pangalawa.. kc di ka naman mag mamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga ung una.

kung sa tingin mo naloko mo ako.. nag kakamali ka.. kc ikaw ang naloko ko..pinaniwala kita na naloko mo ako...
Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.

Bakit ka magpaparamdam sa taong hindi marunong makaramdam? Wag kang magpakatanga, sa taong hindi marunong magpahalaga. Matuto kang sumuko at mang-iwan, kung lagi ka namang sinasaktan.
Imbis na magtanong ka ng "Hindi pa ba sapat?" Bakit hindi mo na lang kalimutan ang lahat? Kung alam mong binabalewala ka na, tanggapin mong nagsasawa na sya.Wag kang magpadala sa salitang "sorry" at "ayokong mawala ka" kung totoo yun,patunayan nya

Minsan hindi rin naman talaga ginusto ng mga taong minahal naten ang saktan tayo. Hindi naman nila sinasadyang iwan tayo para sa bagong dumating. Minsan kailangan natin tanggapin na sa paniniwala nila, mas mahal nila yun. Ganun lang naman talaga, dun sila kung saan sila masaya. Ganun din naman siguro ang gagawin natin, kung tayo ang nasa sitwasyon di ba? Lahat tayo mararanasang AGAWIN, MANG-AGAW at MAAGAWAN. Pana-panahon lang yan.


ang pinakamirap na parte ng paglayo sa taong hindi ka kayang mahalin ay ang katotohanang hindi ka nya hahabolin




waaaahhh.. love ko c bob ong..!
jajajjaa

pick up lines part 10

I'd like to be reincarnated as one of your tears, because I'd be born in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.

You're so hot you must be the reason for global warming.

Sorry miss but I have to arrest you. you're guilty for stealing my heart.

Excuse me! I'm lost, can you tell me how can i get into your heart?

I'll give you a scholarship. just learn to love me.

You're like an oxygen, coz I can't breathe without you.

Am I in heaven? Coz you're an angel...

Can i take your picture? coz i want to show Santa exactly what i want for christmas!

Do you have a driver license coz you drive me crazy!

Did it hurt? when u fell from heaven?

i'm a bee, can you be my honey?

Hey, did you fart? coz you blew me away!

If i'm a letter of the alphabet, I want to be letter T coz its always beside U!

Are you a False Teeth? coz I can't smile without you!

Excuse me, Are you a dictionary? Coz you give meaning to my life...

are you a keyboard? coz you're my type.

if you're a shit? I wanna be a malfuctioned toilet bowl, so we can be together forever.

are you an electric fan? coz you keep on spinning on my mind.

I'm looking for my wife, will you marry me?

There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.
Was your Father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
Great legs, what time do they open?

If you hold 11 roses in front of a mirror, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

pick up lines part 11

para kang oatmeaL, you know why ?? coz’ you’re good to my heart ..

here let me tie your shoe laces, so you won’t fall for anyone else.

can i strip your clothes off? because i want to know how angels hide their wings.

kung nagugutom ako at kelangan ko ng isang taong makakapagpabusog sa aken, pede ba kitang lapitan at sabihin.. Pakagat naman kahit sa labi man lang.

Para kang alak..habang tumatagal lalong sumasarap!

catcher ka ba? sinasalo mo kasi ako tuwing binabato nya ako

‘haLa, akaLa ko umaga na ! LumiLiwanag kasi mundo ko pag kasama kita .

Kandila ka sana para pwde kitang itirik sa puso kong patay na patay sayo!

panu mu makikita ang taong magmamahaL sayo at makakasama mu sa habang buha? kung hindi ka nmn sa akin naka-tingin ?

Cheese ka ba? Gusto kasi kitang ipalaman sa puso ko eh!


miss Pulitiko ka ba? Boto kasi parents ko sayo eh!


kung may rabis ang laway mo.. handa akong
maulol, MAHALIKAN LANG KITA


Ikaw b ang kadiliman? Wala na kasi kong makitang iba kapag andyan ka.

drugs ka ba? kasi nakakadik ka eh

multo ka ba??? kase pag naki2ta kita bumibilis tibok ng puso ko ehh…


ampalaya ka ba? Kasi kahit anong pait ang nararanasan ko sayo ikaw pa rin ang sustansya ng buhay ko!

virus ka ba? kung virus k man d kita hahayaang matanggal kasi mas nanaisin ko png masira sistema ko kesa mawala ka…

Di bale nang masubsob ako…Kung sasakto naman sa labi mo


alam mo miss pra kng google! kasi lhat ng hinahanap ko nasa iyo na!


para kang painting. hindi kasi ako nagsasawang titigan ka..


Ampalaya ka ba sa ref? Coz ur cold and bitter.

para kang libag, pilit kitang inaalis pero balik ka pa rin ng balik

uling ka ba? nagbabaga na damdamin ko sayo eh

kapag ako may tindahan, lahat ng tao bebentahan ko ng mura, sayo lang hindi, dahil sayo lang ako magmamahal…

intsik ka ba? kasi i’ll siomai love to you, and i hopia love me too.

mahilig ka ba magluto na pancit canton? Kasi pag kasama kita, feeling ko, “LUCKY ME.” …..

buti pa ang biglaang lakad natutuloy, tayo hindeeee!!!

ikaw ba may ari ng meralco? kasi pag kasama kita, nararamdaman ko ang spark!

pick up lines part 12

Are you real? am I still dreaming? or I finally found the girl of my dream!

Heaven must be missing an angel because you are here right now!

you're like a sun because my world revolves around you!

Are you a daughter of a rock star? because you rock my world!

can you recommend a bank where i can make a deposit? cause I'm planning to save all my love for you!

if you were a new sandwich at mcdonald's, you'd be called mcgorgeous.

do you have a map? because i keep getting lost in your eyes.

was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes

Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns

Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

You're like NIDO, you're my World's number 1.

Can you wear your life jacket? because i'm afraid you'll get drown with my love.

My psychiatrist want to see you, because he ask me to bring the reason for my insanity!

Comebacks to Pickup Lines

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Dear Mr. Bob Ong,



Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong chik na nakilala ko recently sa
isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak
matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.

Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan
ko ba siya ng tula ? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut
at sampaguita?





In lab na po ako. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Is she the one?



Lubos na gumagalang,

-KIYO -







- ANG REPLY -



Dear KIYO,



Hindi ka talaga sasagutin niyang nililigawan mo. Napaka-old school
kasi ng mga tactics mo. Wala nang gumagawa ng ganyan. Sa panahon
ngayon, lahat ng bagay, nagtaas na. Nagtaas na ang gasolina, nagtaas na
ang presyo ng bigas at mga bilihin, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, at lalong
nagtaas na rin ng standards ang mga babae. Hindi na uubra yang siopao
at suman mo. Lalo na yung huli mong binigay, hopia at santan. Ano ba
pare? Ano’ng era ka ba pinanganak?



Pero don’t worry. It’s not too late. May pag-asa ka pa. Hindi pa
naman siya kinakasal at di pa niya sinasagot yung crush niya na
basketball player. Kahit lamang siya ng sampung paligo sa’yo, daanin mo
sa utak at creativity. Dahil aminin na natin, iyon na LANG talaga ang
pag-asa mo. Heto, bibigyan kita ng mga simple, tried and tested na mga
regalo para di siya mapurga sa hopia at siomai. Sundin mo ‘to, tiyak na
lalaglag ang bagang niya sa’yo. Mga medyo more than your usual regalong
panligaw:



1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking
box—yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng
magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa
gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito
ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask.
Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin
mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone.
Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.



Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang
binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na “Omega 8.” Pag
tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: “because you’re good
for my heart.”



2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha
tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isulat mo: “I miss
hanging out with you.”



3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo.
Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo,
sabihin mo, “Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo.”



4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung “with Omega 8.” Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.



5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice
cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo, “natunaw na
kakatitig sa’yo.”



6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng
black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: “Walang
kulay ang buhay kung wala ka.”



7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit.



8. Itext mo siya ng: “Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!”



9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo “para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin.”



10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng
laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: “Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung
meal na nagpapahappy sa’kin.”



11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: "aanhin
mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko"



12. Pagkatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang
box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin,
"ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na
tayo"



13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng
"salbabida", wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bkt? ang
isagot mo ay " ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko."



14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at
huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun
sign na “don’t leave your valuables unattended”



Handang tumulong lagi,



-Bob Ong-

pick up lines part 13

* What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
* Did you fart? Because you just blew me away
* You must be in a wrong place - the Miss Universe contest is over there.
* Was that an earthquake or did u just rock my world?
* I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true
* Are you a magnet cuz im attracted to you
* Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
* I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access.
* I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
* Baby your like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems
* Your body is a wonderland and i want to be Alice.
* If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
* If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
# Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?"
# Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted.
# Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.
# Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.
# Do you have the time? (she gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down .
# Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle.
# If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
# If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away
# Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
# Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart.
# I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'!
# I'm like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but im as sweet as can be.
# Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
# You've been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room.
# If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity.
# Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
# I was blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
# I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
# I know I dont have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk.
# Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
# Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.
# Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.
# Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here.
# POOF! (What are u doing?) I'm here, where are your other two wishes?
# I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
# Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
# If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!
# Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the room became beautiful.
# Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
# Is that top felt? [No] Would you like it to be?
# Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
# Is your last name Gillete cause your the best a man can get.
# Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
# I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
# You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me.
# I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you.
# You look life my first wife! (how many have you had?) none.
# Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
# I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
# Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
# Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
# Like the sheets on your bed I want cover you with love.
# Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
# Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
# I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.
# You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
# You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
# Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say... "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
# This is a test of the emergency pickup line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pickup line.
# I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.
# Are you an alien?, because you just abducted my heart.
# I can tell your future, it is you giving me your number.
# Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
# Giant polar bear (What?) It's an icebreaker. Hi, my name is....
# Your so hot when i look at you I get a tan
# I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you.
# You look so sweet your givin me a toothache.
# My love for you is like the universe...neverending!!
# If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.
# You - "Did it hurt". The other person will naturally say "Did what hurt?", You - "When you fell from heaven."
# Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
# Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
# You say "I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips." She says, "Bet's on." You kiss her then say, "I lost."
# You got something on your chest: my eyes
# Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
# I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.
# What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
# Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
# I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
# Do you want to make millions? millions of babies!
# The night is young, the moon is bright, and you are here with me tonight.
# I wanna bag you like some groceries.
# kiss me if I am wrong, but isn't your name (take a guess)...Janice????
# Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only TEN I see




pwaahahah.,.kala ko pinoy lang cheessy..
kano din pala..

pick up lines part 14

Is your Dad an astronaut? Because someone took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

2. You must be tired because you've been running through my dreams all night

3. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

4. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

5. I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

6. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

7. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

8. Was your dad king? He must have been to make a princess like you.

9. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

10. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

11. You are the reason men fall in love.

12. I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.

13. If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

14. When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor, so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

15. Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)

16. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?

17. Can I borrow a quarter? I told my Mom I'd call when I met the girl of my dreams.

18. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

19. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something, my jaw!

20. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

21. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

22. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

23. If I followed you home, would you keep me?

24. Was your father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

25. Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.

26. You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

27. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

28. You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

29. If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".

30. Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?

31. Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boyfriend?

32. Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.

33. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

34. Are you related to Mike Tyson? Because you knock me out.

35. If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be named McGourgous.

36. Your body must be a Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

37. How you doin?

38. Please come here, I'm desperate.

39. Didn't we go to different schools together?

40. Guy: Did you just fart? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because you just blew me away.

41. If I had a nickel for every girl as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents

42. Would you like some visene? Why? So you can see our clear future together.

43. I hear your body is made up of 75% water, man am I thirsty!

44. Do you sleep on your stomach? (No) Can I?

45. I love you, you're the best.

46. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you I'd be walking in a garden forever.

47. You're so sweet I'm getting cavities.

48. If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

49. If I had a camera, I'd use the whole roll.

50. Your name must be Lucky Charms, cause you're magically delicious.

51. Baby, have you been eaten your Campbell's soup? Because you are looking Mmm, Mmm good!

52. Are you wearing lipstick? Mind if I taste it?

53. If I were bread, would you be my butter?

54. God was showing off when he made you.

55. Is your name Elmo? Because I want to tickle you all over.

56. Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.

57. Hi, are you here to meet a nice guy/gal or will I do?

58. Aieeeah! Your eyes glow like the twin suns!

59. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.

60. I'm The Man in Demand

61. There's a star in the sky for every time I think of you

62. Hi, I'm incredibly rich.

63. I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!

64. Do you have a boyfriend?

65. I know somebody who likes you but if I weren't so shy, I'd tell you who.

66. Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

67. Statistically speaking, the most effective pickup line of all time is "I love you".

68. You must be a parking ticket (or book), because you have fine written all over you.

69. Excuse me, do you have the time? Woman: No. Man: Well I have the time and it says I have time for you alllll the time

70. Can I dip you in chocolate?

71. Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with me like a nice little fellow?

72. Hi, what's your name? Did you go to (put in a place) yesterday? (No) Oh right, that was in my dream.

73. I heard milk does a body good but man, how much have you been drinking?

74. If love were a drop of water, I'd be in the Atlantic Ocean.

75. If you were a tear drop, I would never cry for fear of losing you.

76. You know what I fell in? (What?) Love with you.

77. Excuse me, do you have Band-aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.

78. Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you're the bomb.

79. Hi, my name is (insert your name here)

80. Life without you is like a pencil without lead, pointless.

81. I'm a genetic engineer and I need to utilize your body for a stem cell experiment. It shouldn't hurt too bad.

82. My love for you is like diarrhea; I can't hold it in.

83. I think I've seen your picture somewhere. Oh yes, it was in the dictionary under SHA-BAM!

84. You're so hot that you make the sun jealous.

85. Do you know what the square root of 81 is? (Hopefully they say nine) Oh, then you are not just another pretty face.

86. I lost my teddy bear. Can I cuddle with you instead?

87. You're so hot you melt the elastic in my underwear.

88. Hey c'mon now, I'm ugly, you're ugly, it's perfect.

89. Can I borrow your library card, because I'd like to check you out!

90. I should call the police because you're stealing my heart.

91. You're more beautiful than 100 pink flamingos on a golf course.

92. I can't wait until tomorrow. Somehow you get prettier every day.

93. If wishes came true I'd be having dinner with you tonight.

94. Girl: I'm sorry, I can't talk right now, I have a(n) (some instrument) lesson. Guy: (instrument)? I thought angels played harps.

95. Excuse me, you look sexy, what's your name?

96. If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.

97. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's out of business, and speaking of Hershey's, how about a kiss?

98. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

99. ASL?

100. Can I have your heart? I need it to be complete and I don't feel whole without you.

101. It's never easy meeting a complete stranger, especially one as beautiful as you, without being properly introduced. But shall we try anyway?

102. Gently rub the girl's back and say, "I thought angels had wings."

103. You must be the cause of global warming.

104. I don't think a firefighter could put you out.

105. It looks like you need a man in your life. How about me?

106. Um, you have really beautiful...uh...eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is...you have a nice forehead, er ah...Do you believe in when I walk by...(To yourself) Oh man, STUPID STUPID STUPID!

107. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

108. Is your name Pepsi? Because you sure are sizzling.

109. Are you a broom? Because you sure swept me off my feet.

110. If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be black at night.

111. You're looking sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that has been rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice and jabbed into someone's eye.

112. I think we should be lab partners because you and I have chemistry.

113. I don't know if it's igneous or metamorphic, but baby, you rock.

114. Did you know the distance from here (touch one side of the girl's shoulder) to here (touch other side of shoulder so your arm is around her) is the same distance from here (touch same spot last touched) to here (grab her around the waist)

115. Kiss me if I'm wrong, but have we met?

116. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

117. I thought Veryfine only came in a bottle.

118. (Walk up to them, place an ice cube on the floor and crush it with your foot) Now that we've broken the ice, what's your name?

119. If I were a tear drop I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

120. If you're here, who's running heaven?

121. Do you know Karate? Because your body is kickin'

122. I'm going to put this tear of mine in the ocean. When you find it I'll stop loving you.

123. If I were you I would go out with me.

124. Do you work for NASA? Because you're outta this world.

125. Walk up to a girl and look at the tag on the back of her shirt. When she asks what you're doing tell her your checking to see if she was made in heaven.

126. I couldn't pay attention in school (or work) today because I couldn't stop thinking about you.

127. Would you like a coolata, because you are ahota.

128. You're the marshmallows in my Lucky Charms.

129. If I ran McDonald's I'd name a sandwich after you called "The McGorgeous."

130. If I were a gardner, I'd plant your tulips next to mine.

131. Is there an airport near by or is that my heart taking off?

132. Did you hear the latest health report? You need to increase your daily intake of vitamin me.

133. One night I looked up at the stars and thought "Wow, how beautiful." Now that I'm looking at you, nothing else can compare.

134. May I borrow some of the chapstick you're wearing?

135. I have an owie on my lip, will you kiss it and make it better?

136. Hey good lookin' what'chya cookin'?

137. Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream. After seeing you, I don't ever want to sleep again.

138. Let's hide behind a rock and get a little bolder.

139. How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi, my name is...

140. Girl: Have we met before? Guy: Only in my dreams.

141. You better stop, drop and roll right now cause you're on fire!

142. Have you ever heard the Pina Colada song, because I want you to come with me and escape.

143. Watching you is like watching the sun rise with the morning dew, but there is one difference - you're better.

144. Jealousy is for everyone else because they don't have you.

145. If you were a pirate would you put your parrot on this shoulder (touch girl's shoulder) or this shoulder? (touch other shoulder and keep arm there)

146. Ever wonder why you have spaces between your fingers? (A: So my fingers can fit there)

147. Does your Dad own Snapple, because you're made from the best stuff on earth.

148. Let's make like fabric softener and snuggle!

149. If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.

150. Pick up a pack of sugar and hand it to a girl, saying, "Here, you dropped your name tag."

151. I'll make you a bet - $20 says you'll turn me down.

152. I must be dead because I'm talking to an angel.

153. I knew I recognized you. You look just like my next boy/girl friend.

154. If I was an ice cube, I'd melt standing next to you.

155. Are you a star? Because you always shine when I look at you.

156. This isn't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for the love machine.

157. Is your name Gillette, because you're the best a man can get!

158. May I have your autograph? Why? For being the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

159. I memorized every number in the phone book, but managed to lose yours. I'm gonna need to get that.

160. Is your daddy a shoemaker, because you just knocked me off my feet.

161. Drink unsweetened tea or other beverage, and when she asks why, say, "With you here, I don't need sugar."

162. You might not like it when guys swear, but I swear I'm in love with you.

163. My heart is broken...could you fix it for me?

164. I just ate some skittles. Do you want to taste the rainbow?

165. I think God took the pigment out of a leaf and put it in your eyes (for green-eyed person).

166. I think God took the colour out of the ocean and put it in your eyes (for blue-eyed person)

167. I think God took a brown topaz gem and made you eyes out of it. (for brown-eyed person)

168. I bet it was hard for God to make your eyes out of crystal clear ocean water.

169. Either those are your eyes, or you managed to make a contact lens made out of gem stones.

170. Did you escape from the zoo? Because you bring out the animal in me.

171. Walk up to a girl and reach into your pocket. Close your empty hand and extend it toward her. Ask if she'll hold this for you. When she reaches for it, grab her hand slowly. Gets an, "Awww" every time.

172. Touch her shoulder with your index finger. Make a hissing sound and say "Owwwwww!" then tell her you just got a 3rd degree burn.

173. "Can I call you Sky? Why? Because you're the reason mine is blue"

174. You're so beautiful I forgot my pickup line.

175. I can't taste my lips, can you taste them for me?

pick up lines part 14

*may mmda ba rito?
kasi nagkabanggaan puso natin!
*asthma ka ba?
kasi you take my breath away.
*ibibili kita ng salbabida mo kasi...
malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko.

*meron ka bang eraser?
hindi kasi kita mabura sa isip ko.
*pokemon ka ba?
kasi I CHOOSE you! [di ba ke pikachu... ash: "pikachu! i choose you!"]
* Para kang TABLE OF CONTENTS.
Dahil ikaw ang topic ng bawat pahina ng buhay ko.
* Limang piso ka ba?
Kasi sakto ka.
* Do you drink yakult?
'Coz everyday you're ok.
*nasan ka kagabi?
wala ka ata sa panaginip ko! (yun yon eh!)
*I think I'm a bad player...
...because I keep on missing you
*naka-kain ka ba ng watusi?
pag nag-ssmile ka kasi, may nakikita akong spark.
* o ito english naman:
I hate all the letters of the alphabet, but I love "U"

*hayos to: (guy walks towards the girl na parang galit) "Miss, ok ka rin noh?! ang kapal ng mukha mo! (so medyo shocked ung girl sabay hirit ng) "Hindi pa nga kita nakikilala pina-ibig mo na ang puso ko."
* Para kang plema
... because di ka maalis sa dibdib ko!
* Can i take ur clothes off? kahit isang beses lang...
i jst wanna know kung pano tinatago ng mga anghel ang kanilang pakpak.. (manyak!)
* Miss...SM ka ba??
kasi you've got it all!
*Gutom ka ba?
Tara , bubusugin kita sa pagmamahal ko.
* Matador ka ba!?
kasi ang lakas ng tama ko sayo!

* May butas ba puso moh??
kasi natrap ako na aKo s loob.. cant find my way out
*Miss, umutot ka ba?
'Cause you took my breath away. (yikes)
* Pwede ba kita maging sidecar?
single kasi ako eh..

* Uy malala na yung sakit ko sa puso, dalawa na lang options ko para gumaling:
either ICU or U C me
* guy: miss, anung kukuning course mo?
girl: uhm gusto ko sanang magnursing...
guy: teka...magkakasakit ata ako!
* Are you a PS game?
because i hope you're not Tekken
* My mirror ba iyung puso mo?
cause I see myself in it

*o ito, strategy:

Scenario: Girl and Boy with their friends in
the school canteen.
Boy: mauna na ko. *sabay grab sa hands
ng girl patayo din.*
Girl: bakit?
Boy: *pointing on a sign board that says,
"do not leave your valuable things unattended."
>>*holds out hand* Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
>> o ito, sagutan na ito:

guy: hey there miss... i forgot your name can i call you mine??
girl: uhmmm sorry! my name is not mine...

pick up lines part 15

'r like my kulangot.....'coz u'r hard to get

u'r like my kuto.....i can't get u outta my head

u'r like my pustiso.....i can't smile without u

u'r like a suppository.....u bring out what's bad in me

u'r like a yosi vendor.....u give me hope and more

u'r like ovalteens.....i just can't get enough

u'r like my bra.....salo salo mo ang dibdib ko

u'r like my shoes.....u'r always there wherever i go

when i am with u, i feel like matatae.....coz u make me kilig to the bones

u'r like constipation.....u take my breath away

u'r like my sweat.....u relieve me when i'm hot

u'r like Extelcom.....u never stop caring about me

u'r like SM.....coz u've got it all

hindi ka pa ba napapagod? kasi kanina ka pa tumatakbo sa isipan ko

nawawala ang puso ko. paki check mo nga kung nasa pocket mo!

u'r like a balikbayan box….because i get excited when u arrive.

i'll see u in court....dahil ninakaw mo ang aking puso

u'r like a jingle joke...you bring the corny out of me.

takutan time naman!


pwahahahaa


peer pressure

“isawsaw mo na,” peter cajoled. “matagal ka nang curious, ‘di ba? dali na! isawsaw mo na!”

noel didn’t know what to do. he could back out, but that would make him look like a wuss. on the other hand, going through with what his friends were asking of him—it could wreck him.

well, not literally. but—

noel squared off his shoulders, took a deep breath, and dipped his shrimp tempura into the spicy concoction his friends made. it was a mixture of bagoong, fish guts, chopped chili and a huge helping of wasabe. noel knew it was suicide.

he didn’t know how right he was.

noel was planning to just daintily dip the shrimp tempura. but his friend peter caught his hand and pushed it down the spicy gunk.

“you asshole,” noel grumbled. looking at the dripping tempura, noel knew it was his last chance to back out.

”su-bo! su-bo! su-bo!” his friends chanted. the other patrons of the bar they were in were starting to get curious. a few of them threw glance their way. noel was sweating now.

his friends had all done it. what was the worst thing that could happen? noel took another deep breath. mustering all his strength, he took the dripping tempura from the dip and popped it into his mouth.

the whole thing.

noel didn’t bother savoring the taste. it was disgusting. it was exactly how it smelled like: rotten and disgusting. noel swallowed. his friends cheered.

and then he choked.

immediately, peter and the others stopped cheering. they looked at him expectantly, hoping that noel was just joking. dreading that reality of the situation.

eyes brimming with tears, noel pointed at his throat. peter handed him a bottle of beer, someone else tried to catch the waiter’s attention for a glass of water, and some medical assistance.

one of noel’s friends actually shouted, “is there a doctor in the house?”

no one replied of course.

when the waiter came, noel’s face was already blue. he was already gone.